Life on Peri Lane has a way of shaking things loose. One minute I’m cruising on autopilot and the next I’m wide awake at 3 a.m., wondering what the hell is happening to my body, my moods, my life?
Here’s the thing: midlife isn’t a crisis. It’s a clearing. It’s the season where I’ve started to question the things I used to just accept. And I’ve finally given myself permission to let go of what’s not working. Not just in my health, but in my relationships, my routines, my mindset. Do I always get it right? Of course not, but I have become more mindful of my environment and how it’s impacting my well-being.
If you’re feeling the nudge to live lighter, louder, and more you, this list is your permission slip. Here are 10 habits I’m working on leaving behind in midlife (and beyond).
- Embracing Authenticity
Many of us grew up being the “nice girls.” The dependable ones. The ones who always put others first, even when it meant neglecting our own needs. But here’s the truth: self-respect is invaluable. If you’ve ever said “yes” when you really wanted to say “no” or agreed to something that didn’t align with your values, it’s time to embrace your true self and honor your own needs.
- Ignoring Our Bodies
Perimenopause doesn’t knock politely. It barges in with mood swings, sleep issues, brain fog, joint pain and makes you feel like a stranger in your own skin. Now more than ever, it’s important to pause, listen, and ask: What is my body trying to tell me? For instance, when I notice that I need to move more during the day to help me sleep better at night, I make sure to squeeze in a walk.
- Delaying Joy
No more waiting for the “right time.” Midlife is the time. Many of us spent years deferring joy, telling ourselves we’ll book that trip when things slow down, buy the dress when we lose the weight, or celebrate once everyone else is taken care of.
But here’s the truth: Joy doesn’t have to be earned. It’s not a reward at the finish line, it’s the fuel that keeps us going. So wear the damn dress, even if it’s just to pick up groceries. Dance in the kitchen with your dog. Eat cake on a Tuesday just because it’s sunny (or because it’s not). I’ve realized that those small, spontaneous moments… they’re the big ones.
- Putting Ourselves Last
Have you spent decades pouring into everyone else: kids, partners, work, extended family? Have you become an expert juggler, scheduling everyone else’s lives down to the minute? But where did you fit on that calendar?
Now, I’m learning that my needs matter too. Rest is not a reward, it’s a requirement. I am allowed to say no, even if it feels weird sometimes. I am allowed to ask for help without guilt. And I am allowed to carve out space just for myself – it’s essential. If you missed our take on the Everything Shower, this is your reminder to go back and read it.
Putting yourself first after years of putting yourself last doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you a whole person. A woman who knows her worth. And honestly? That’s power.
- Letting Friendships Fade
Midlife friendships hit different. We crave real talk, not small talk. The kind of women who remind us who we are when we forget. If life has gotten too busy for connection, it’s time to reach out, even if it’s just a 10-minute voice note in the carpool line.
For instance, my girlfriends from high school and I started a new tradition this year called Waffle Wednesday. Every week, we share a quick 2-minute video update about what’s new in our lives. This simple ritual has allowed us to stay connected and share more intimate updates, discussing the challenges we face across work, kids, relationships, and perimenopause. Stay tuned for a more detailed post on this!
- Comparing Ourselves
She has a cleaner house. She looks younger. She seems more together. We’ve all been there – I know I have. But comparison is a thief, not just of joy, but of presence. You are not behind. You are exactly where you’re meant to be. And if where you are doesn’t feel good right now, that’s okay too. It might be the perfect time to make small, meaningful changes that move you toward the life you want. You’re allowed to grow. You’re allowed to begin again.
- Avoiding the Money Talk
It’s never been more important to understand our money especially in this phase of life. Perimenopause often shows up right when we’re juggling a lot: teens, aging parents, tuition, mortgages, and retirement planning. Whether it’s budgeting, saving, investing, or reviewing your insurance coverage, it all matters.
Some of us may already have a handle on it all. Some of us might feel completely overwhelmed. Either way, now’s the time to get clear and take control. Financial empowerment means more freedom, more options, and more peace of mind – for you.
- Holding on to Resentment
Whether it’s family dynamics, old hurts, or the way society makes us feel invisible at a certain age, holding on doesn’t help. Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting. It’s about freeing up space in your heart and mind so you can move forward without dragging a suitcase of anger behind you.
- Avoiding Movement
We’re not chasing a bikini body. We’re chasing energy, strength, and the ability to carry groceries without our backs giving out. Movement is medicine, especially now. Dance, walk, lift, stretch, swim. Just keep moving. My go to’s: strength training and walking. Am I always consistent? Nope. But I stay aware, and I keep showing up because progress, not perfection, is what matters.
- Thinking It’s Too Late
Start the side hustle. Write the book. Go grey. Dye it purple. Apply for the job. Leave the relationship. Get a new degree. Learn to lift weights. You are not too old. It is not too late. It may seem scary – but you know what’s scarier? Regret and never knowing what could have happened if you’d just said yes to yourself.
Final Thoughts
At Sylvie & Nat, we don’t believe midlife is about reinventing yourself or chasing some big magical awakening. We believe it’s a transitional time: a space to reassess, readjust, and maybe even refocus. This is the season to ask: What matters now? What (and who) still fits? What can I let go of? Where do I want to pour my time, energy, and care? It’s not about becoming someone new, it’s about getting closer to yourself, and to the people who matter most. Less noise. More meaning. Less pressure. More presence. If you’re on this path too, we hope you’ll walk it with us, honestly, gently, and always unfiltered.
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📌 Written by Nat
💬 Sharing the real & raw—because life on Peri Lane is never dull.
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